The Lake Misadventure

When you've been awake for 28 hours straight, sometimes you make a few bad decisions.

After an even longer night than usual, I began another day of absolute cabin fever. The day before was my birthday, but I was too sick to do anything other than stay in bed. It was my fourth day in a row of this and I was going absolutely of my mind, or as I call it "I just want to leave the house insane". Despite finding it quite exhausting, I made up my mind to go for a walk outside in the fresh air. How does the song go..."I wanna be where the people are". I was so sick of laying down that even-though I knew it would be difficult, I really wanted to go for a walk to the lake. Not going to lie, it was a Top 20 Bad Idea. At-least it didn't make The Top 10.

I took advantage of this rare opportunity of possible human interaction to get dressed...in real clothes! With my most comfortable pair of shorts and my Standford sweatshirt on, I was ready to go. My outfit needed one more thing though, a non sickly looking face! I didn't look this way because of the treatment or from actually being ill. Sickly is my permanent shade. Smashbox should make a color just for me. I'm so fair skinned that I tend to look grey; add to that purple bags under the eyes and people assume that I'm dying on my best days. I desperately needed a bit of make-up to help me look less horrible. Don't get me wrong, foundation was as far as I went. A full face of make-up..."ain't nobody got time for that!" I finished the outfit with my favorite black converse; oh what a mistake. They look so much better than tennis shoes though...I had to keep it cute.

There are two ways to get to the lake: the freeway or the trail. I chose to walk, which was another mistake! All day I thought about the better choices and deliberately went against them. I guess if this is my Hep Rebellion, then it's not too bad. I considered how far the trek really was and decided that I didn't care, I just wanted to be out for as long as I could.

The trail to the lake begins in a flower filled valley. All you need is Julie Andrews skipping through the purple grass, serenading you with "The Hills Are Alive" to make it feel completely unreal. I usually have a friend with me, but being all alone, I had my music to keep me company.  As I went along, getting lost in the music, I realized that it was the beginning to every "Criminal Minds" episode. I was completely alone in the field, at least I hoped. I enjoyed my time alone, feeling as though the quiet valley was all my own. I soon came upon a little forest, surrounded by a little garden. This was the first place that I decided to rest. It felt like I had traveled miles already.

To get from the valley to the lake, you must conquer a hill as tall as Mt. Everest; it was difficult even when I was at my most fit (and not on treatment). While climbing my own private Mordor, I was lapped a few times by a runner. Every-time they came back around, I held my breath a little to hide my unflattering dry heaving. A more intelligent person would have taken a moment and figured out that it was probably time to stop. Oh, but not me! The harder the walk, the more determined I became to get to the lake. Clearly, I have a rebellion problem.

After what felt like FOREVER, I finally made it to the lake. I sat by the water ready to eat, but I soon noticed the wave of geese coming towards me, all led by a demonic swan. The minute that the evil little birds think that you're there to feed them, they come like the zombies in "Land of the Dead"; stalking you from the water. It's the most terrifying thing to see at a lake, other than Jason Voorhees of course.

I backed away slowly from the horrible animals and continued down the lake. I can only imagine how I looked at this point. I was beginning to get a little light headed and had moments when my feet would go the opposite direction of where I had intended, I must have looked like a giant drunk baby. I should have gone back, but of course I didn't. Honestly, I really wanted to find the baby cows. A dangerous task when the mothers have a tendency to stampede if you get too close. The last thing I wanted was to end up on the 11 O'Clock News for being tackled by a cow. I kept wandering until I started to feel extremely sick. My whole abdomen began to cramp at the exact moment that I ran out of water.  Realizing how badly I had screwed up, I started the long journey back to my car, which was two miles away. I tried my best to not look sick, I didn't want anyone to think that I was just badly out of shape. I have my pride after all! Each time I found a bench to fall onto, a fit person came running my way. I'd jump up as fast as a partially collapsed person could; avoiding all eye contact to keep the delusion that "I didn't look a hot-mess" alive.

With every step, I found myself in more pain. I just wanted to get to my car. I really wanted to sit (ironically) and take off my converse that hurt so much; obviously the reason that they make tennis shoes. When I finally made it to my car, I felt like dying. Next time I'll drive to the lake, or just be a bit smarter; maybe drag one of my very busy friends along. My long journey did help me get to sleep; I was only awake for 22 hours that day.