Adventure Time

Everyone. Get excited. Are you ready?

I left the house!

(applause applause)

The last few days have been a bit strange and filled with a little adventure. Finally! I was beginning to wonder if I should change my sidebar explanation to say "Kelsey, who has no adventures...ever!"
WARNING: This is a long one. But, if I can make it through treatment, you can make it through my story. I'm hoping that you'll be entertained, but it may be Russian Roulette at this point.

The Adventure

I have entered regular insomnia, I can never seem to fall sleep. I tend to lay in bed and just stare at the ceiling, trying not to go mad.  This is usually the time that I become a Twitter Troll. If you follow me on Twitter, and by the way you should, then you may have seen my manic tweeting the last few days. And if you don't follow me, what the hell man!? I have those artsy buttons for Twitter, Tumblr and Pinterest designed by Jess Buckley. Click all three and become part of my delirium. You may or may not regret it.  

Despite my desperate hopes...and the use of sleeping pills, the other night turned out to be the same as all the rest; I only managed to sleep for an hour. After the nap that felt like the blink of an eye, I awoke slightly refreshed and mostly ill. I forced myself to rally and dragged my ass to the shower because as Kat Williams says, "I had shit to do!"  If there was ever a more uncomfortable experience. Apparently, I'm at the stage where standing for a few moments feels like completing a marathon. The shower seemed to last forever, but I came out so fresh and so clean-clean. I sat in my towel, trying to decide how "classy" of a day it was going to be. My plans involved a trip to the doctors office for more blood tests, clearly not a reason to put on make-up. But I decided to take it one sickly-step further and I left the house with my hair more wet than dry. It was raining (well sprinkling...well actually misting). I figured that if someone questioned me on my Wal-Mart appearance, I'd blame it on the "rain". It never rains, they'd believe it. If you are lucky enough to have Hep-C, then you know of the bi-weekly events where a phlebotomist (right out of school) stabs a needle into your arm.  As I waited, The Lovely Phlebotomist (who is magic and can draw blood without even a pin-prick) told me that only one of my doctors had orders for me, and it WAS NOT my hepatologist. They called my doctor, spoke to a nurse and then we waited. I didn't care about the waiting, I had nothing else to do.  BONUS, it gave me the time to become my Twitter Troll alter-ego and ruthlessly stalk Niall Horan. Twenty minutes had gone by when The Lovely Phlebotomist returned with the news that I had come in two days too early and my doctor refused to put in the orders. Two days! I was having a CBC and Full Blood Panel. If you aren't fluent in Sickly Girl, it basically means that she was testing my white cells and nutrition. Really? Those two days have the ability to ruin everything? I politely said "thank-you" and "oh it's no problem" while screaming profanities in my head. C'est la vie.

I was half way home when I arrived at a crossroads. No, I'm not speaking metaphorically. I came to the intersection where I could turn left and go home...or go anywhere else!  The thought of going back to my house...right back to the mundane treatment life made me snap. I drove straight!  I had no idea where I was headed, but I knew that it wasn't home. Without really noticing how far I'd traveled, I found myself out in the country.  I live in an area which consists of a valley, surrounded almost entirely by hills. On this rainy day, the sun broke through the purple clouds, and the vibrant green fields were painted with magenta colored flowers. A rare occurrence in dry California. Every-time I venture to this faraway land, I come to find something new, and most times something quirky. It may be an out of place million dollar mansion, a quaint family owned winery, or a dilapidated barn that time had forgotten. Some areas are stuck in the settlement days of the 1800's; others in 1930's Depression. At every turn, the rural haven changes into something entirely new.  For me, the best part of the country is seeing all of the farm animals, living their Happy California lives. There once was a farm that had camels, but now they only have horses and llamas (by the way, a great children's book beginning). I had a "what am I doing moment" when I saw a donkey farm and screamed "AHH DONKEY!", like a four year old child.

Ive realized while reading other blogs that I love when the blogger includes pictures of where they're from or the adventures they'd been on. I love to see what it's like where other people live. It's the wanderer in me, who is currently stuck at home. I tried my best to capture this unnaturally photogenic day. But even on these old country roads, people drive like idiots. I couldn't stop too often because there was almost always a Road-Warrior right behind me. I did find a few sleepy roads; the pictures weren't quite what I wanted but....

I had hoped to find a cute little farm, where a family of cows had made their home. I wanted to have my own "Happy Cows Come From California" photo. Unfortunately, my animal interactions consisted mainly of a dachshund who seemed to be in an existential crisis; playing chicken with the speeding cars, trying to determine if he were in-fact alive. Not to mention the kamikaze hawk who felt the need to dive-bomb my Jeep repeatedly to prove its dominance. Honestly, not something I was willing to fight for. 

I drove around aimlessly, enjoying the breeze and the occasional spring shower. As the final song of my much loved "Songs I Wrote With Amy" began to play, I thought I'd better head back to reality. I settled into my long drive home, singing along to "Where We Land".  While saying goodbye to the tranquil countryside, an elderly woman sweeping her porch stopped, looked at me and waved hello. I waved back, so excited that something like that had happened. Never these days, never out of The South.